I have crabs

OSE MASSACRE

2008-03-09T09:06:00.000-07:00

DIDNT YOUR MOMMA EVER TELL YOU NOT TO F WITH A BEASTMASTER?

Get it through your heads people! Don't mess with the BEAST. And really don't mess with a BEASTMASTER named RYANIUM. The SE gods love me and i am blessed daily with great FORTUNE and PROSPERITY.

ANYWAYS

So, I need to kill Ose. I have to there is no other way to put it. BAM POP AFTER FIRST ROUND IM A CHAMPION!!
So i'm just slaughtering this foe in my favorite mmporg.

God its so easy, I need to come naked to these things for some type or challenge....... OR!!! Throw a couple assholes into the mix! YES!

Asshole #1

Now he rolls up with asshole#2 (Mystictouch, no screen of her shit :()

So they are chillin. Watching me kill Ose. In the back of my head i know exactly what they are going to do, especially when they are going invisible and standing right next to me.

Yes ladies and gents they are going to steal ose. Now this is no big surprise i knew it was going to happen eventually, the only thing I can do is keep this bitch close and RED. OSE is chillin' 8% and I need to pet swap.

WELL SUCH A Nice guy, he doesn't try to take OSE when it goes yellow, he wants to make OSE kill me. COOL!

BAM he claims my pet right when i released my other one.

Now because im a genius I called out a carrie, but only after OSE tore my ass to pieces and left me at about 200HP.

*DUMB SHIT SKIPPED, ERRR FASTFORWARDDDDD*

Now because im awesome I call for help. I don't play NO GAMES.

So now these cunt ass fuck rags got 3 things going against them.
1. I'm a beastmaster.
2. I'm a really big asshole.
3. I'm pretty upset.

So the sons.....of what? LOL YES YOU FUCKER

WAY TO STAND INFRONT OF OSE THINKING IT WOULD DEPOP AFTER I CALLED FOR HELp, MORON LOL. So we had a little chat.

Now as you can see there is also a purple torama, YOU CAN HAVE MY PET YOU SON OF A BITCH!

OK so they both die, HAHA YES. after unweakening i know i have no real chance at killing ose with these asshats around, so i decide to just chill and watch them do it. Bam the RDM(Mystic) casts sleep2 on Ose@100%. Awesome.

So they start fighting and i notice this Torama.... And for some reason that son of a bitch just kept following Alex around... no idea how... at all... i took no part in that......... SO hes basically kiting ose away from this pesky torama when all the sudden....

OSE KILLS HIM AGAIN BECAUSE THIS ASSCLOWN UNSHAVEN CUNT LIP DOESNT KNOW HOW TO KEEP SHADOWS UP....... BHAHAHAHAHAH HFUCK YOUFUCK

Now as you can see, i did charm Ose to bind him. Like an idiot, giving me hate on it.
So i'm just like, you know what? fuck these people!

Bam no OSE for anyone.

So to reiterate.

DONT FUCK WITH BEASTMASTERS, WE WILL WIN, NO MATTER WHAT.

MONKEY TENTICLES

2008-03-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

OWNING HARD, IS LIKE A ROCK. no idea what that means, but today i had a GRAND time in the ONZOZO. owned some bitch nms, made some kid question his life. JUST NORMAL FUN TIMES.

ssssss

so i'm

so im all trying to POP this Peg Prowler hoe because i've never even seen this shit so im all like BAM CHECK WIDESCAN. Mysticmaker is being all MYSTICAL down in the south WEST portion of the MAP. so me and my trusty torama zoom in for an EASY kill. BAM!

AFTER GOING LI.... oh? whats this? EMO KID!!!

god its just not fairr.... my life is just one dark hole... *sob* GET AWAY FROM ME STOP SITTING ON ME GOD *sob* IM NOT INT HE MOOD WAHH WAHH. So of course i have to ask him which ear it looks better on HAHA.
BITCH OWNED LOL

ssssssssssssssss
so after owning some mystic, time to see if loo would like to come play with my ears.

OH SNAP

After a ridiculous easy fight I AM fULLY REWARDED!!!!!!!

YES SHALL SHELL!!! Shit use to be like 100M back in the day, haven't figured out how you actually equip it yet, just another big secret from SE.

YOU BEST RECOGNIZE!

CAn't keep track

2008-03-01T10:57:00.000-08:00

CANT KEEP TRACK OF ALL THESE NMS I DO!

Thats the end.

GIVE ME EARRING

GIVE ME KARD

Ok sTORY about this. I get him to 12% and he kills my pets so fast they dont repop when I release, I used carrie early because of this so i can't call beast. I go to manta room, AND THEY ARE ALL DEAD, NOTHING NADDA DEAD SOB, AND THE GUY KILLING IS FROM MY LS, DIE IAODSJa soid ja

asd
sd

roro al
a

LoO STOMPER

2008-03-01T10:48:00.000-08:00

THIS IS FUN AND EXCITING. Killing random LoO place holders whenever I can because i'm BORED. and well what do you know, ITS USELESS ASS POPS BC NO ONE WANTS THIS SHIT ANYMORE FYFEASD @L EWDW>

So i'm a little excited, i ended up SHARTING.

I don't really need stoneskin, as my skin is already made of stone, i am just putting it on for theatrical effects.

DUH!

OK so I let myself almost DIE a couple times for my audience(TUESDAY HOLLER!) I think hes JP i'm not sure.

You may be wondering what all this camotion and SPAM in ls is, well I get the cool idea that i'm going to two hour carrie and fight along side. WORST IDEA EVER. This sob spammed like watergaIII and some other DUMB TP MOVES, and I almost died and of course killed carrie and I had to do a pet swap with like 300 HP.

THANK GOD IM THE BEAST OF BEASTS. No drop lolz.

Amemet

2008-03-01T10:45:00.001-08:00

LIZARD RMT FARM LIZARD CHOKE,

asdawu ha uah uidh auh u uihidhai dASDJSW alksjd alk dwai dw!!!!!!!! akjsdasda
asdh ak hawkdadahds
dadauh BONJOUR! iwudhwdh hak a hahwu2i 388e aska hdskah dk JDJSUW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! amskd aj jaw i wa'
aww

sawdkjsa jdawi wj IIIOLLOK!!!!!!1 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! askld al wab iawd aod aj oieur bnn sn n adwp eufh naan wa nn lkkanlkandn wian a nwire diosdf lasj aio wjheds
!

Please correct my above spanish if it is wrong, i'm only in spanish 101.

OSE

2008-03-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

How is that even PRONOUNCED!? OSE? Ohh Ssss Eee? I don't UNDERSTAND!

So i'm like lets pop this dude, I don't have anything better to do.

After a round of killing place holders hes like, POP!

:)

Ok so of course no drop because my TH is -500. BUT MAN, OSE's paralyze is pARALYZIGN, that shit is no joke, if he paralyzes your pet just get a NEW ONE, WORD? OK

I Like 3somes

2008-03-01T10:31:00.001-08:00

GOD I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TUG ME THERE! Thats pretty much all I have to say when I hang out with Enn and Aless. We are constantly orgying all over the place. Now most people want to know what we do, well when me and enn aren't sticking it to Aless ROTISSERIE STYLE. (SEE FIGURE ONE)

FIGURE ONE

Now if you don't know what i'm talking about, PLEASE USE SOME IMAGINATION!

OK, so when we aren't.........:), we enjoy long walks on the BEACH and doing NOTORIOUS MONSTERS! We traveled to mamook and meet up with DEVOUT DUDE, i guess hes a RELIGIOUS KILLER LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS, this dude turns out to be cake for the first 53K damage, then things BLOW.

Yadda Yadda, of course owning.

Getting excited because its been RELEASED by SE this guy drops APOCALYPSE GUARANTEED.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?! 53K ??? LOOOL
F THIS WE ZONE, NEW NM.

Not even going to discuss Zizzy. lol.

A BUNCH OF WEE STUFF

2008-03-01T10:15:00.000-08:00

IM SO HARD + CORE. ok since i dont want to make one ZILLION posts about how awesome i am and all my hardcore accomplishments im going to just post the SMALL junk here.

Alessander getting OWNED, and then shortly after REOWNED

HAHA POWNED!
KUFTAL ACTION!!!!

So i've been trying to get bLOODTHIRSTER to pop for awhile and i finally got this sob to pop, of course it was an EASY fight because i was BORN to BEASTMASTER.

Of course no drop because he was lost his axe in a pokergame.

RA~CHA~CHA~CHA~CHA~CHA. I'm not doctor of the mexican language, but I believe Maricachiachiaici is some kind of code word for a SECRET ritual that involves slapping young antarctic penguins in the face with asian girl's used underwear. (This has recently been confirmed.)

OF COURSE NO DROPS FOR ME I DIDNT ATTEND THE RITUAL, I will get the drop b/c I have recently traveled to mexico and participated in the fiesta.

SON OF A BITCH GO FUCK YOUR DRAGON MOM! Guivre has a personal vendetta against me, this is the second time this bitch has turned the CORNER and SLAPPED MY ASSHOLE SILLY.

Jackass.

I'm not even excited at all about owning this undead newb. it was like that are PUNCHING BABIES DUCT TAPED to a BEAR.

more WASTED mog SAFE storage. YES!

GOOBZ have lots of teeth, LIEK FUCKING ALLIGATOSSR

2008-03-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

CHECK IT LIKE ITS CHECKED, SO im up in the TREE like lolbuffer TIME. I notice that gOObz have ALOT OF TEETH, their dentists have to be PISSED THE FUCK OFF

Now i'm thinking why the hell don't these sons of bitches just BITE PEOPLE TO DEAETH. GG SE I SHOULD BE A DEVELOPER

WTF BOLD GO AWY Awdasda

I have to bold and itallics to make the shit go away then turn it OFF for it to be on, gay

IN OTHER AWESOME NEWS DEAD RMT LOL

BEASTMAsTER BOOTY

2008-02-24T08:53:00.000-08:00

BEASTMASTER IS SO BEASTLY, thats all i really have to say about beastmaster. its the cream of the CROP. Maybe when you are sitting in your mog house jerking off MARSUPIALS. you'll realize you need to level BEASTMASTER PRONTO style.

SO last night was packed with loads of action, dinged 75. Then had to deathwarp. So i'm still 74. Hooker nose.

ANYWAYS I GET THIS /tell and its all like "YO LETS CHECK SOME NMZ", and i'm like "OK!"

So me and this MASTER BEASTMASTER Ennayram go check some ancient gOoBZ, OH SHIT HES UP.

^^^ Me obviously excited about the occasion. First attempt at the ol' goob.

As you can tell in the below screenshot this amateur GOOB know who is the boss. JUST LOOK!

HA, he bows before my greatness. He knows whats up. hes like omg you are MURDERING me i BOW BEFORE YOUR GREATNESS.

^^^ DOLLAS

After the tree, we go on some more NM hunts and end up in the LABRYITN OF ZONZO

We aaaa a aaa
^ I dunno, dumb blog messed up.

Anyways we find this Goblin nm and hes like YO, Kill me! We obliged, oh and some newb Alessandra came back from afk and decided to come join the SLAUGHTERING.

Alastors blog sucks btw.

^^ Dollas, not sure what its supposed to drop, I guess some dancer shit, this newb thief was there like, OMG DONT KILL PLZ MY FRIEND NEEDZ AND IS ON THE WAY. But Alessandra the ASSHOLE(lie i love you!), was like "LOL STEAL IT AND KILL IT AND TAKE ITS SHIRT OFF". That really happened.

-------->< > _---------
Anyways around this time Enn is like "YO, I got other shit to do peace fags."

So me and Alessandra are like, lets go sex in Gustav. So we did. Found no NMs to sex so the WOMAN is all like lets goto KUFTAL and check some nms, and im like word. So sadly I follow this WOMAN which was my first mistake. this WOMAN leads us straight into a dead end wasting precious time!

Typical WOMAN.

So we get to Kuftal and find this BLOODTHIRST MADKOX and alessandra is like, WORD HE DROPS AN AXE THAT I HAVENT GOTTEN IN LIKE A YEAR OMG. So me being the beastly man I am I r like, "Lets do it."

Since im so beastly and considered a roman god to many south american natives. It drops.

^^^ DOLLAS (HOLLER JOHTO)

SO THE LOT OFF GOES DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FREE LOT
GO
LOT LOL
LOOOOOOOOT OFFFFF YES EPIC SHIT

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 966 vs 921???? THEN I LOT NOTHING OVER 50. FUCK!

ANYWAYS!@#
Congrats to aless on this hott waste of storage space!

In other words, Penis loves Blackomega, and by golly he loves it back.

Aquarius ROUND TWO

2008-02-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

OK SO HERES THE DEAL, i'm xping in the tree. competing with the RMT on Goobz when I get a fab idea. GONNA SOLO AQUARIUS AGAIN B/C FOR SOME REASON ANCIENT GOOBZ is not up, major FAIL. So I think it'll take awhile to pop him... WRONG! Hes just chillin'. Hanging out. Jerking off IGUANAS.

So I pull him up to the top floor to own him with BLACK MANDIEZ.

Then i goto TOWN whooping that ASS

So all of a sudden I figure this is way to easy. SO I decide to MISCHARM on PURPOSE.

Because I NEVER EVER mischarm. It just DOESN'T HAPPEN. Period.

But because I am a GENIUS and understand beastmaster like a MASTER i called out Carrie and SNARLED, totally gnarly.

Here are the Drizzy opz(ALREADY GOT AXE)

Look at all that sexy moneyz.

So after doing that I decided to go solo Fafnir.
Whoopz.

Didn't want the other LS to get mad at me for soloing so I decided to PURPOSELY misCHARM again.

Ok alessendra.

2008-02-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

BREAKFAST NEVER TASTED SO GOOD. SO while me and Alessandra are xping shes like 'omg im soooooooo hungry.' and i'm like 'word, me too.' so shes like 'ok lets break i'll be back in ten minutes.' and im like 'OK WORD.'
(XP SCREENSHOT)

^^ Not photoshopped.

Ok so anyways, i finish cooking and eatting my breakfast and aless is still not back. I cry. Thrice.

Now, i'm no doctor of math or a doctor of time. But i'm pretty sure that isn't 10 minutes.

I waited. Cried again. Then she returned and said I was loser and killed 2 more mobs then left with her lesbian friend.

Little XP

2008-02-17T12:50:00.001-08:00

MONKEY TOES.

Been xping in various spots on my route to 75. One of the best spots that I experienced was definitely Aydeewa Subterrane.

It was dope im a champion I xped and made money.
oh AND

^^^ Lily discussing some of her family issues or some shit.

After xping with Alessandra in Bibiki for a bit I decided to go PEEP all up on the tree see how the xp is. kind of SLOW but still fun and makes decent money!

BST IS GETTING SEXIER BY THE SECOND.

2008-02-17T12:48:00.001-08:00

CAN IT BE?

WHM Needs some love too

XOLTOLTOzA

2008-02-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

OK SO HERE WE GO, i'm camping tiamat b/c I want fast boots and I get this tell from my lover Alessandra. She is all like, "YO SWITCH TO BST AND WE CAN GET IN THIS PTY AND KILL SOME XOLOLXOL"

Personally I came. Twice. Switched to BST and came out for some action(SEE BELOW PICTURE!)

Of course we got full drops b/c we had TH4:

Aquarius

2008-02-17T12:01:00.001-08:00

SO, been forever since I updated this nonsense. SO HERE COMeS ALOT OF UDPATESSDS

I was hanging out and felt like getting some Aquarius, so me and my buddy Lexx (who wanted skill ups) decided to ROLL OUT. So i'm 68 at BST/NIN and within about 30 mins aquarius pops. So i'm like "YO HOMIE, CHILL IMMA SOLO THIS AT 68." WELL. Everything was rocking, killing the newb with many pets. THEN I see a goob. I think to myself, "I bet these rock as pets." so, I try to charm...... and fail.

So Lexx who had a beast beastmater on another toon is like, "YO DUDE, YOU CANT CHARM GOOBZ LOL!" so he kited the goob for me, somewhat. It kept running after me and taking down my shadows and aquarius was getting mad hits in. Fortunately for me I knew Ennayram was soloing goobz on top level so i'm "YO HELP AQUARIUS GONNA KILL ME!" so he strolls down with his black mandy and finishes aquarius off (He was at 6% so I did alright.)

Drops!

Welcome

2008-01-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

OK! After playing FFXI since before the PS2 release I have one regret. BEASTMASTER wasn't my first job. Sadly for me it took me this long to realize how exciting and fun beastmaster is, but at least I realized it and am now in route to 75BST. Currently I am a 70BST rock and rolling. So stay tuned in for some radical posts.